N'STEP Gangology

Changing Gang Behavior From The Inside Out®


I'm Coming Home!

Posted by anonymous on July 7, 2017 at 9:35 PM



I can remember- standing in the courtroom- witnessing my own funeral- the eulogy being the sentence- life without the possibility of parole. Can you imagine- your fate being expressed so nonchalantly - as you absorb the magnitude of such a reality as- life without the possibility of parole?


During my 21 years - behind these steel curtains - I’ve watched the reality of being confined - without the cutaneous stimulation of a woman- break some of the strongest men- stripping them of their knowledge of civilisation - forcing them into psychological caves wherein savages reside- and the character that they displayed- upon being confined - peeled away - exposing their intrinsik selves.


I’ve watched these men seek solace- in the institution of religion - searching for God outside themselves - not knowing that God can ever be evident outside of self- and to even attempt to make him/her so- negates one's self- because one is going outside of self- to identify that which exists in self.


The word God- merely serves as a garment- to make real- what has always been- always is- and always will be- this is the significance of the usage of language - for if it were not for language - words- a garment- we could never conceptualize that which is infinite.


What was it that sustained me?- one may ask.


It was thought- for I never accepted the sentence that was superimposed upon me. I never excepted prison as my reality- or destiny - and though I was physically apprehended I refused to be psychologically captured.


Everytime that I spoke with my mother- I expressed - “I’m coming home” - and though I know that she believed - I also know that she couldn't fathom how.


In the process of me coming home - this journey- people appeared- some for a season- some for a reason. Those that came for a season - relinquished in the season that they came- and though it was painful- I overstood that it was necessary - that those that came for a reason could be positioned in my demonstration - so when ties were broken- I celebrated- knowing that they were only making room for my blessing. I met a lady once- who asked me - “how much time do you have”.


She was interested in me - at that time - and I replied to her -”they gave me life-but I’m not going to do it!” she smiled coyly- turned on her heels and walked away from me.


Why am I telling you this?


Because I want you to- not only see me- but also see yourselves in the proper context. There is no such thing as an impossibility- for if you can visualize the future- you can position yourselves to walk into that reality. I’m saying that - through the expansion of your consciousness- upon actualizing your Godself - you can absolutely project thought then walk into that reality.


That being expressed- no longer does history have to be written- after it happens. Conceive it - then walk into it. I’m coming home!


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