|Posted by anonymous on July 7, 2017 at 9:30 PM|
As I sat in the courtroom- listening to the judge- prosecutor- and my public pretender- using the Latin language- speaking over my head concerning my future- I thought - “I don’t have a grip on the english language- how do they expect me to overstand this legal jargon”.
In the midst of my thoughts- the sound of the gavel pierced my reality- sounding like the thump of a baseball bat meeting the bone of one's head- bringing me back to the present circumstance- and the words that followed - “Will the defendant please rise”- and I obliged.
“You’ve been found guilty- by a jury of your peers” - I immediately took issue with that statement- for not only- were there no one on that jury- that was of my peers- but there was no one on that jury- that was of my ethnicity. I stood there - erect- shoulders back- head up- chest out- receiving a life without parole sentence- and didn’t even have the presence of mind to blink or flinch.
At that moment- I witnessed my own funeral- for all intent was that I would die behind the steel curtains of the prison industrial complex. I was escorted back to my assigned cell - located in the assaultive module- of the county jail. I stepped inside- still cuffed- and when the door was closed behind me - the escorts opened the slot- built into the door- that they used to feed those of us who were deemed assaultive.
I bent forward at the waist- pushed my cuffed hands backwards- through the slot- and the cuffs were removed. I looked at the imprint - left in my wrist- by impress- from the cuffs being placed on too tight- and sat on my bunk.
Not long after- I was notified that my baby daughter had died. Initially I blamed myself- “If only I’d been there- she may have lived”- only to find out- years later -where the true blame belonged”.
I made a promise to her memory - that I would change my life- and after 21 years-under duress- oppression - adversity- experiencing sophistry and subterfuge on behalf of individuals who presented themselves as friends- comrades- including woman who presented themselves as lovers- I kept my promise- and the universe has yielded to my command to be liberated- the taste of freedom so palpable that i frolic in it spiritually and in 75 days - I’ll experience it physically.
Let the trials- tribulations- and victories in my life- act as catharsis for anyone who is at their wits end- and think that they are not going to make it. We live in a universe of cause and effect- comande the universe with your words and deeds - and it must respond- for you are a direct descendant of the most high- who gave you dominion.